Last night, I went back to university – literally. I attended a conference by French philosopher and author Frédéric Lenoir at ULB in Brussels, on a daring topic: the five pillars of wisdom.
For me, it felt like all my favourite worlds were sitting in the same room:
- Philosophy (it was my strongest subject at school, and I had the privilege to study with François Noudelmann in classe prépa),
- Psychology (I was reading Freud as a teenager and, as a coach, I naturally turned to C.G. Jung),
- Buddhism, whose philosophy deeply resonates with me (there’s a reason I’m an ashtanga practitioner 🧘♀️),
- and of course coaching, whose principles kept echoing throughout the evening.
Result: 24 pages of notes. Yes. Twenty-four. I actually counted.
What is wisdom, really?
One definition shared during the talk stayed with me:
Wisdom is about seeking to live a good and happy life,
by acting well and respecting others and all living beings.
We’re far from the simple pursuit of pleasure. Pleasure depends on external causes and doesn’t last. Wisdom is what allows us to integrate the difficulties of life and still remain relatively serene, whatever the circumstances.
In other words, what truly matters is the way we look at life.
This is exactly where coaching comes in: supporting someone often means inviting them to change their inner perspective, to revisit beliefs, to reconnect with who they truly are.
Wonder as a starting point
One concept I particularly loved hearing again was wonder.
Philosophy, from Plato onwards, is said to begin with astonishment: the ability to marvel at the world and its harmony. To keep that childlike gaze that asks metaphysical questions:
Why are we here? Why do we die? What is love?
I’m convinced this kind of wonder is a key ingredient for a happy life.
When we lose it, we slide so easily into cynicism, numbness, or autopilot mode.
In the Platonic tradition, human beings are searching for a sense of fullness and transcendence, something that connects us to the invisible and goes beyond our limited selves. Very “snake” in shamanism, right, Danielle de Wilde? 😉
The five pillars of wisdom – through the lens of coaching
Frédéric Lenoir identified five major pillars that appear across many philosophical and spiritual traditions. Here is how I received them, through my own filter as a coach.
1. Knowledge (of self)
First, knowledge – not just collecting information about the world, but also questioning our assumptions and turning that questioning inward, very much in the spirit of Socrates.
With Jung, self-knowledge goes deeper: it’s about recognising all the parts of ourselves, including what we repress or disown. Reconciling conscious and unconscious, our bright sides and our shadows.
Listening to this, I immediately thought of Jean Monbourquette’s book “Apprivoiser son ombre” and the Johari window: in coaching, so much of the work is about reducing our blind spots and unknown areas, expanding what we know about ourselves and what we dare to show.
The ultimate goal? Becoming who we truly are, instead of spending our life trying to meet expectations from family, culture or society.
I also found very powerful the idea of individuation in midlife, roughly between 35 and 50. We often use the word to describe how a child becomes psychologically separate from their mother and parents. Here, the idea is that we sometimes lose that inner individuality by trying too hard to fit in.
Then, between 35 and 50, something wakes up:
Did I make the right choices?
Who am I, really?
What truly lights me up?
What are my deepest talents?
That’s often when people start deeper inner work, sometimes change careers, or decide to reinvent their life so it feels more like their life.
And that’s exactly where coaching can be a powerful companion.
2. Love
The second pillar is love.
Not the romantic cliché, but the capacity to think with the heart, not only with the head, when we make decisions – for ourselves, for others, and for the world.
It’s about universal and unconditional love, being moved both by the beauty of the world and by the suffering of others. In other words: compassion.
Love in this context is not soft or naïve. It’s what connects us to life and motivates us to act in a way that is more just and humane.
3. Ethics and virtues
The third pillar is ethics, or the practice of virtues.
With an important nuance: every virtue taken “too far” becomes a vice. In coaching, we would talk about traps or the overuse of strengths.
This is very close to the Middle Way in Buddhism:
neither too much, nor too little.
And the way to get there is step by step. That echoes a core coaching principle:
When you want to change something,
start with the smallest possible step.
Then another one.
And another one.
We don’t climb a mountain in a single leap. We move one small step at a time.
4. Presence
Fourth pillar: presence.
Living in the present moment, where everything actually happens.
Savouring our experiences instead of constantly rushing through them.
Of course, this doesn’t mean erasing the past or never planning. We can learn from what happened, remember joyful moments, organise our future… while still inhabiting the now.
In a world of constant notifications, information overload and digital distractions, it’s a real challenge – and yet a crucial one if we want to feel truly alive.
5. Acceptance
The fifth pillar, and probably the most demanding one: acceptance.
In coaching, this is where we talk about our circle of influence: what we can change versus what is outside our control.
Acceptance is not resignation. It means:
- taking responsibility where we do have influence,
- and letting go of what we cannot control, instead of staying stuck in anger or sadness.
I also love the idea of contrasts that help us appreciate things:
we need death to fully appreciate life,
and we even need those people who irritate us – the ones we’re “allergic to”, as we’d say in coaching – because they reveal our core qualities and challenges (hello, Ofman’s Core Quadrant).
The invitation is to welcome our emotions, then let them move through us and go.
That’s the RER process in coaching: Recognize, Embrace, Release.
Here, I can’t help but think of Nietzsche’s idea of saying a big, sacred “Yes” to life:
doing our best to change what we can,
without clinging too hard to the outcome.
In that sense, acceptance becomes a form of transformation. A very powerful one.
And a bonus 6th pillar: humour
At the end, Frédéric Lenoir added that if we had to name a sixth pillar, it would be humour.
I couldn’t agree more.
Humour creates distance from tragedy without denying it. It builds connection. It brings intelligence and lightness exactly where everything could become heavy and serious.
It’s definitely one of the guiding principles of my own life. 😉
I walked out of that conference feeling inspired, grounded and quietly energised.
I hope these reflections bring you something to.
👉 Which pillar resonates most with you right now – knowledge, love, ethics, presence, acceptance… or humour?
I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences.
Valérie Champault Coaching & Consulting 
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